But you came here for the dirty sexy scoop on what happened, so here it is: Hollywood newcomers Laurie, Tim and Melissa decided to tear up the town, and after an incredibly tasty (and shockingly inexpensive!) meal at Palms Thai restaurant on Hollywood Blvd, as well as a few drinks and carousing at Katana in West Hollywood, took a drive over to the Playhouse, a nightspot that just opened it's doors in July. Traffic was typical Friday night fare in downtown Hollywood: not fun. Luckily, on the way to the club, a bright light shone from the street as we entered a McDonald's parking lot to get some McNuggets and Flurries, and -- quite literally -- Jesus was there, arms up-raised, and thus did the traffic part and many good blessings were bestowed upon our cholesterol-laden foods. Quite the biblical moment.
And so the journey continued, and lo and behold, there was a parking spot opening up not 200 yards from the door into the club!
The two lovely gents who were about to get in there car and drive off to their roach-infested apartment to play Playstation because they couldn't pick up any "hawt chix" at the club decided it'd be funny to demand a toll of the two ladies in the front seat (Tim was minding to his Reese's Flurry in the back seat): "You can have the spot if you put down your top." You see, they thought they were cool using a double entendre, because we were in a convertible. How clever.
My response was something to the effect of: "Why don't you just leave and give us the spot?" Seemed easy enough for them to do.
Undeterred, the guys said it again: "Just put down your tops." And it was at that moment that a cop strolled over, and asked very nicely of these two upstanding citizens (who were clearly too messed up to drive), "Why don't you two come over on the sidewalk for a sec?"
Oh, the humor doesn't end there, but it probably did for those two dudes. And that would be the Girls Gone Wild reference, in case you're keeping score.
After finding parking elsewhere, the three of us strolled into the club, and thanks to some connections, we got a tour of the control booth (two words: technologically awesome!) and got seated in the VIP area. That's where we saw Nicole Richie bustin' the moves with an entourage of hip-looking cats (sorry for the 70s slang), and honestly, the DJs had this place going fierce. They had some of the "typical" modern hip-hop stuff going on, but their mixing skills and their occasional blocks of 80s songs ("Hungry Like the Wolf," "The Humpty Dance," and several others) definitely kicked it up a notch.
And that's when the Heavens parted once again, and Jesus -- the same Jesus who'd led us to the Holy Mecca that is McDonald's late on a Friday when you're starving and have very little cash -- appeared on the main stage and was going all Holy Trinity on the place. Holy Trinity being:
- Raising the roof,
- The Mom shuffle (you know the one your Mom does at weddings, where her arms are positioned like she's about to do the chicken dance), and
- A very, very poor rendition of The Carlton.
Ah, Hollywood: my #1 new source for comedy...you know, ever since they cancelled Wonder Showzen.
Link Happy:
- Playhouse - http://www.playhousehollywood.com/
- Palms Thai restaurant - http://www.palmsthai.com/
- Katana restaurant - http://www.katanala.com/
- Nicole Richie on Twitter - http://twitter.com/nicolerichie
- Wonder Showzen Official MTV Page (full episodes!) - http://www.mtv.com/shows/wonder_showzen/series.jhtml
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